Friday, October 28, 2005
When I was young my father was away alot. Being a merchant seamen is hard on a family, as I am sure it is on the guys who spend months out to sea, and we all felt his absence when he was gone and his presence when he was home. He would come in and wake us, no matter what the hour, and kids and dad would roll around, scuffling on the floor, being tickled, playing "pile on dad", laughing and having a good time, enjoying the time we had.
When I was a tiny girl of 3 or 4, my dad would come home from his day job and sit in his favorite chair. He would say in a big voice " Who will help me take off these shoes?" The older boys would come and try, but dad held his foot down hard on the ground until they gave up. He\'d wink at me and say "you try". With ease,and his help, I could unlace the heavy boots and lift them off his feet. It was my special job and I loved feeling so much stronger than the boys.
I was his "Pamelita" He sing to me...
Pame-lita
Pame-lita
she\'s the girl with
stinky feet-a
and he was my knight in shining armor. My greatest hero. My biggest fan. He was a traveller and teller of tales. I was a singer of sad songs.
As we kids hit the teens our lives were disruptive, We rebelled against our parents, and sought to be independent.
Our parents sought there own lives.
He didn\'t know how to treat teenage girls. They didn\'t wrestle, or like to be hugged too much and they were moody!
We grew up. we grew away.
It was hard for me to think of this guy who left my mom, who nevr sent a birthday card as my hero.
It wasn\'t until I had my first child and my dad married a wonderful gal that we reconnected. She told me to just say "I love you" to my dad when I ended my calls. It was months before he would say it too. I had the opportunity to spend time with him and he with me my newborn son, his grandson. I would come wash clothes or just hang out at their house and we would watch t.v., talk about anything, play with William and play endless games of cribbage. He enjoyed his grandson and even changed a few diapers! I gave up the childish ideas of knight in shining armor, or man with tarnished past and found a dad. He gave up little princess and troubled, unwed mother, and found a daughter.
Thank you Shari.
After Shari, my dad met a great gal who was fun to be around, even though I didn\'t want to like her for stealing my dad! She is the bestest, most loving, caring person I know. She welcomed me and mine into her heart and made us her own. And she loved to play Canasta! With her daughter as fourth, we\'d all sit playing and chatting until early morn. She is "Grandma Loni" to both my kids and I love her as much as my dad loved her. Endless PBJ.
I have spent much time with my dad over the years. I decided to record his stories after losing my mom and he relished the idea of telling his tales. One year he came to visit me and I set out the recorder and we all just talked. Remember Chris? You and Woody were here. Story after story. Memories revived by a small word or tidbit. I cherish those times.
I would come back home to visit and dad and I would just hang out, play cards, ride around,chat, visit friends. I was fortunate enough to have come for a visit one week before he was hospitalized and know he had a good time. I did.
I will keep it with me forever.
I miss him.
